The things I do for my job!
by Sprout2012
Summary: Harry has an unusual assignment, but he benefits from it in the end. (Um unsure what to rate T to be safe.)


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter® is copyright J.K. Rowlings. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM and © 2005. This fan fiction is provided for entertainment purposes and in respect to J.K. Rowlings and the talented cast of the Harry Potter films.

**A/N:** Just a really random fic. No smut really – hints of it, but no actual sex scene. It is a bit lame, but anyway here it is. Enjoy.

**The things I do for my job!**

Harry wasn't keen on his new assigned job. He had spent the last thirty minutes trying to talk his way out of it. He wasn't successful and was currently on his way to a private house that operates as a brothel of sorts.

He was going undercover as himself – strange but true. The Aurors had arrested a witch who goes by the name of Madame Roscoe. She was the owner or organiser was the better word. They discovered that somehow she had gotten hold of something from Harry, and had been making one of her staff drink polyjuice potion and sleep with clients that wanted Harry Potter.

The Aurors had arrested as many staff members as possible but not all. The head Auror wanted to start arresting the customers, as prostitution, and sleeping with a prostitute was illegal in the wizarding world. This is where Harry come in, his boss Mr Denett had told Harry he was going undercover, playing a stranger who had taken polyjuice to become Harry Potter. So effectively he will go as himself and any clients that approach him will assume he's someone else polyjuiced as Harry.

The head Auror had basically told Harry to go along with it and before things get that far arrest them. But Harry had to get them to say that they wanted sex and that they would pay for it, so the memory could be used as evidence. Harry had to pretend and arrest as many clients/customers as possible.

Harry was fucked off. Not only was some asshole drinking polojuice and walking around as him, they were shagging anyone with a Harry Potter fetish. Then there were the weirdos paying to have sex with someone they knew wasn't really Harry, yet did it anyway because they looked like him.

After a few nights undercover at the brothel Harry had arrested a handful of people, of both sexes and of various ages. Now it was Wednesday evening and Harry was waiting for his next customer.

The room he had been assigned was large, it was big enough to be a bedroom come living room. Harry was lounging on the sofa, wondering if the next Harry Potter obsessive would be male or female.

Harry preferred men, not liked it mattered as he would be arresting them before anything happened. The previous customers would knock and enter once Harry called them to come in. He never vacated his seat off the sofa.

So when a knock came at the door he called,

"Come in."

He stood and was fixing himself another drink, Dennett could fuck off if he expected Harry not to drink alcohol on the job; this was fucking weird and he didn't want to do it for long. He could imagine an endless stream of Harry Potter fans trying to bed him the only way they could.

"Drink?"

Harry called without looking around, wondering if he'd hear a male or female reply.

"Sure. Firewhiskey on the rocks." The very recognisable voice drawled.

Harry's hand froze half way to the ice bucket. _That sounded like Draco Malfoy; Draco Malfoy wants to have sex with someone who looks like me? Shit._

Harry's mind was frantic, dread, panic and maybe a little bit pleased. He still had a job to do and would have to talk, flirt and act normal until Malfoy admitted he wanted sex and he would pay. Then Harry could arrest him and then demand from tomorrow onwards he wanted out. The Aurors can shut the brothel down, word will get around and then the customers will stop visiting this house.

Harry finished making Malfoys drink and turned to hand it to him. He tried not to stare, but he was gorgeous.

"Take a seat." Harry politely offered.

Malfoy smiled and elegantly slid onto the sofa, Harry also sat; at the other end of the sofa.

"You seem different?" Malfoy stated, sounding confused.

Harry swallowed hard, that meant two things, one Malfoy had paid for sex with the fake Harry before, Two he could tell the difference between the two.

"Hmm I do. How so?" He calmly asked.

Malfoy frowned slightly, "Just more like Potter. Before you had the looks, but the mannerisms were off. Also before you rarely talked." he answered.

Harry had no idea what to say to that, "Um well I'm not the same actor. The bloke last time has quit, I'm a different person taking the polyjuice. I'm a better actor. I've been practising. Watching Potter when he is in public, studying him so I could improve the act and hopefully gain more custom."

Malfoy seemed happy enough with that answer, "Well I'm not complaining you do seem better at this. Even the clothes you are wearing are more in character than the last bloke."

Harry looked down at his muggle jeans and t-shirt and frowned, "Hey there is nothing wrong with my clothes Malfoy."

Malfoy stared at him in shock, "You know who I am? You recognise me?"

Harry snorted, "Hard not too. Bloody difficult not to, not with that blond hair and pointy face." Harry couldn't resist teasing him.

Malfoy arched an eyebrow at that statement, but otherwise ignored him.

Harry cleared his throat, "So the last bloke didn't tell me about any of his previous clients. Was there anything he did that you want to make sure I do?" Harry attempted to sound like he was a prostitute.

Malfoy frowned, "No. I have only been here once before now. To be honest the last bloke was a bit rubbish."

Harry smiled. "How so? As in a rubbish Harry Potter impersonator or just rubbish in bed?"

"What's with all the questions. Blimey your almost as annoying as the real Potter. He was rubbish at both. He used words that Potter would never use, far too big; Potter wouldn't know what they meant let alone how to pronounce them."

Harry wanted to punch the smug git, but he didn't want to give himself away.

"Also I wanted to bottom. I always imagined Potter would be a good top. All controlling and rough, was a nice fantasy. Until I heard about this place, then I decided to come see if I could fuck Potter out of my head. You know, like have one night with 'Potter', even if it wasn't real, he looked real. Then I hoped to get over my little crazy obsession. Well the other bloke was a rubbish top, couldn't take charge and was rather disappointing."

Harry couldn't think straight, Malfoy had sought out the fake Harry Potter, as he had an obsession with him and he fantasised about Harry taking control and shagging him. _Fuck that's hot._

Harry knew he was screwed, he had on occasion thought of Malfoy and what he would look like as he fucked him. In fact Malfoy worked at the Ministry and Harry saw him on a regular basis, so Harry would often see him and then start day dreaming of shutting off the lift and taking him.

"Why don't you just ask the real Potter out?" He blurted. Knowing full well if Malfoy approached him at the Ministry and asked him out he'd say yes.

Malfoy laughed, "Sure if I want to hexed into a million pieces. If he didn't do it, one of his many muppets he calls friends would. You are very chatty, you know why I am here right? Normally it doesn't involve so much talking."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Impatient as ever Malfoy."

"How would you know if I am usually impatient? Your not Finnegan or someone polyjuiced as Potter? I always suspected that Irish git to steal Potter's hair so he could have lots of sex, sounds like him." He coolly stated.

Harry laughed, "No I'm not this Irish bloke you are on about. I did go to the same school as you, so I know a bit about you. Does that matter?"

Malfoy sipped his drink, "I guess not. I just hope you're not someone gross – no offence."

Harry snorted, "Well you'll never know will you. So do you want to have sex? You need to pay first."

Malfoy downed his drink and stood. "No I think I'll pass. Last time was a disaster and well now I keep imagining that your Longbottom or something and well that is having a negative effect on my libido. Do you want some money for me wasting your time?"

Harry stood, he was extremely pleased that Malfoy had turned him down. That he wouldn't have to arrest him. Not to mention he now knew that Malfoy had a crush on him, so maybe he would do something about it.

"Um no. You can maybe ask the real Potter out instead? You never know until you ask." He joked.

Malfoy huffed, "I do know, so I am not asking."

"Bye Malfoy." Harry playfully said around a chuckle. He was funny when he was being difficult and sulky.

The rest of the night sped by, Harry arrested three more people. Then at the end of his shift he told his boss he wasn't doing it any more. They could just shut the brothel down, or find another Auror to take his place. To Harry's surprise his boss agreed, saying they had made enough arrests, all the brothel staff have been arrested and charged, and they had rounded up enough clients to make the Auror department look good.

Over the next few days Harry didn't see Malfoy at the Ministry, but he was an Unspeakable so he was known to be out doing Merlin knows what for long periods of time.

The next time he saw him he was in the lift, reading a memo. Harry stepped in and was pleased to note that they were the only occupants of the lift.

"Malfoy." Harry greeted.

He looked up, "Potter."

"Not seen you around. Thought you vanished or something?" Harry remarked.

Malfoy stared at him, "Have you been looking out for me? What do you care if I vanished anyway?"

Harry cast a non-verbal wandless spell to stop the lift.

"Yes I've been waiting to see you so I could ask if you wanted to go for a coffee or something?" Harry casually asked ignoring the fact that the lift was no longer moving.

Malfoy didn't seem to notice either, he was staring at Harry mouth opened in shock and eyes wide.

"Pardon?" He quietly asked.

Harry stepped closer, putting one hand beside Malfoys head against the lift wall. Leaning in close, he repeated.

"I said I have been looking out for you so I could ask you out. Like on a date Malfoy. You, me – on a date. Is that a no then?" He hovered close to Malfoys face, staring into surprised grey eyes.

Something in Malfoys eyes shifted and before Harry could understand what the change meant, he was being kissed. Harry returned the kiss, stepping closer and pushing his body against Malfoy, Malfoy against the wall.

After a long and fantastic kissing session, Harry pulled back and grinned.

"See you around Malfoy. Let me know when you regain the power of speech if your answer is yes."

Harry then re-started the lift and stepped out onto the next floor. Leaving a speechless and shocked Malfoy staring after him. Later that day Harry got a memo from Malfoy agreeing on one date and it was to be on Friday at 7pm.

Harry smiled and wondered if he would have ever asked Malfoy out, if he wasn't pretending to be a prostitute disguised as Harry Potter.

- The End -


End file.
